Taking a Hint?

I noticed something tonight.

I'm the lone moderator of the Accountability Forum in the Better Than Your Boyfriend Forums.

Now, I'm not trying to rub this in. I didn't ask for this responsibility/privilege. Tynan promoted me without my asking, I think in preparation for his departures.

And I'm not sure if he intended for me to view this promotion as I have. It may have been an offhand gesture to him. But, I think he's more aware and really, caring than that.

I, probably more so than most people who view this forum, have been completely unaccountable for my actions of late.

I moved home in mid-September to accomplish a few things.

I wanted to get my life back on track. Get a job to pay off my debts, find a steady source of income, find some, any, direction in my life.

But, to be honest. I've accomplished very little.

Not to say I've accomplished nothing. I've figured out some major things, like that I need to write to be happy, for instance.

But aside from that, I haven't really done much. I'm in more debt than when I left Austin, because I haven't paid off any that I had. If anything, I'm more depressed, I had what was probably the worst day of my life a few weeks ago. And I've really moved my life very little towards a direction I want.

I don't know if Tynan meant this as a "Dude, I've seen what you've been doing. You're more than that," promotion. I can't speak for him. But I think he did.

The touch of responsibility, however little it may be, in the great scheme of things (whatever that's supposed to mean), hit me. And, though I've had a bottle of wine tonight, I thought it better to post this tonight. Thanks to his most recent post about not waiting for the perfect moment and just plunging in, something that also struck me personally, as I've always been someone who waits for the right moment. Like his friend who wanted to move to LA, I've always waited and let life pass me by.

I don't know if this is yet another of my epiphanies that amounts to nothing. They never start that way. But, I'm hoping you guys will help to keep me honest. And I'll do the same.

I'm going to post at least twice every day in the Accountability Forum. Once in the morning for the things I want to get accomplished that day. Then later, as I complete those things.

Hopefully my action will spurn everyone else to act on their own daily goals. It's been over a month since anyone posted in the forum. And I hope to change that, beyond just me posting in it.

We're all capable of amazing things. I've seen that on these forums in the almost two years I've been a part of them. I only hope that I can spurn just a small bit of action in everyone else.

Let's keep each other honest in our goals.

Thank you Tynan. Add this to the long list of things you've done for me.